Trying to make sense of life from a young age, I spent many years attempting to find a cure for my ills. Periodically suffering with intense anxiety and often struggling in relationships, It felt as if I was fundamentally flawed or broken in some way. Like many of us do, I went to a variety of psychotherapists and other practitioners, but never really found what I was looking for.
In my twenties, I worked as a community development worker in the inner city area. I also played bass in an all-women band. After a near-breakdown, I changed direction in my early thirties and became a complementary health practitioner. I seemed to gradually get back on track, and ended up setting up a health-focused social enterprise which won a national award just before the government funding ran out.
Having lost my beloved job and all that went with it, my life – and I – fell apart. I experienced a four year dark night of the soul. My persona, the identity that I’d built to compensate for the inner sense of brokenness, crumbled. I began to look more deeply, mostly because there was no other option. I had to face the pain of my difficult and sometimes traumatic childhood. Whilst often desperate for some relief or solution, it became clear that this was a process of unbecoming, of unravelling. The awakening process that began during this time continues to this day.
After a while, despite continuing difficulties and struggles, I began to relax into a profound not-knowing,. In 2011, I started working with Scott Kiloby – who I’d met several years earlier – as the editor of his books The Unfindable Inquiry: One Simple Tool to Overcome Feelings of Unworthiness and Find Inner Peace and Living Realization: A Simple, Plain-English Guide to Non-Duality. When he invited me to become a facilitator, I had no hesitation whatsoever, even though my life was still very much in flux.
Since then, I’ve been at the heart of the Living Inquiries community as a Senior Facilitator and Trainer. I have facilitated thousands of sessions on every topic imaginable and I co-lead the Living Inquiries training programme.
It’s a true joy to be a Living Inquiries facilitator. To hold the space whilst someone fully experiences what they’ve spent so long trying to get away from. To be present as they realise they are not defined by their thoughts, emotions, sensations, or memories. To witness the transformations that occur when someone connects with long lost parts of themselves. To take a dive into the unknown; to discover the deep creativity and intelligence that resides in all of us, if we are willing to look.
I continue to do my own looking, often working with other facilitators. I now experience life in an entirely different way than I used to. I no longer feel broken. I love the fact that there’s a growing Living Inquiries community, a coming together or communing of people from around the world who are radically questioning their assumptions and beliefs, and discovering the joy of aliveness anew. All it takes is a willingness to look. If you’ d like to know more about me, feel free to ask.
I am the author of two books. The Art of Finding Yourself: Live Bravely and Awaken to Your True Nature is a collection of articles about the Living Inquiries. My latest book, The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey from Absence to Presence is a profound exploration of spiritual crisis.
“I’ve had the pleasure of co-teaching with Fiona in my Blue Collar Enlightenment online spiritual awakening course. This requires a special type of Zen-jazz improvisation skill. Fiona has that skill in spades. she is a truly compassionate expert of the heart and soul. I highly recommend her work to anyone who wishes to engage in the type of self-inquiry required for awakening. She is just great – warm, clear, thoughtful, articulate and personable.”
J Stewart Dixon: www.bluecollar-enlightenment.com